The most recent story as of this writing is a pastor, supposedly a vocal anti-gay-rights pastor, was found to have a secret life that he shared on an app called “Grindr”, a gay men’s dating app.
There’re lots of these stories. People who present themselves as “good” and “righteous”, but by their own definition are secretly (or so they think) “bad” and “evil”. And we love it when they are found out. Or we must, as much as we talk about it.
Personally, I don’t much care what anyone does in their private life. It doesn’t matter to me if this pastor is gay or that one turns out to have a drinking problem. But it does bug me when they make speeches and sermons that are against the life they are living. My theory is, especially among politicians, is that they live these double lives in order to just get a job. That they present themselves as anti-gay when they are in reality gay, for the sole purpose of gaining a position of power and (likely) the money that goes with it. Those are the ones that really pi** me off.
And then there are those that do injury to those less able to defend themselves. The infamous Duggar family of “19 Kids and Counting” is making the news right now because (allegedly) one of the older kids “molested” some of the younger girls.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for forgiveness and second chances and all that. Lord knows I need that in my own life every moment of every day. But my issue with the Duggars is the COVER UP. When you live in the spotlight and point your spears at those you see as “lesser” than you, you really shouldn’t try to shove things into the shadow to make yourselves look better and continue to point down at others. As this drama unfolds I hope we hear from the victims. So far, we’re hearing that they have “forgiven” what was done to them, but I wonder if it was true forgiveness… but that’s just my morbid curiosity.
And that’s all of us. We’re all morbidly curious about the events and circumstances that lead these public figures to hide their secret lives and are exposed as being the very thing they publicly speak against. Especially politicians that make ridiculous claims about what will happen if we allow same-sex marriage, then are found in an airport bathroom or on the Internet to be engaged in same-sex relationships.
Ugh. But it’s news. And we love it. Or at least we seem to since stories like this are always trending and making headlines. Why?
Because it’s like a house fire. It’s horrible to watch, but we can’t turn away. We want to watch them burn. And we somehow feel vindicated when our own beliefs turn out to be their hidden life. It’s like we want to yell in their faces and say “see? SEE? I was right! You didn’t have to do this you bu**head!”
But they do it anyway. And there will be more stories like this. Especially as long as there are those that think they need to pander to the fringes of society. They want to get every vote, so they take these positions to get elected or on TV, all the while hiding their true selves that more people respect for them just being themselves.
And we want to watch them burn. We want to see them crash and stumble and get punished for being liars. What is it about us that wants to see this? What is it in our human nature that wants to see them spanked for this stuff?
I think it’s because all of us, even when we have our own things we try to keep hidden, really want things to be simple. We really want people to just BE and not be something they aren’t. We want our leaders and our TV personalities and our parents and bosses to be good people, to be decent and honest and real. Even if that realness is different from our own, we respect the honesty. But the hidden, the secret, the double life… that we can’t abide. And when we see it exposed in others maybe there’s some fear that our own will be exposed. Maybe, just maybe, there are even a few that will decide to throw the closet doors open and be real rather than risk being exposed by others.
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