10 Questions

An interesting little thing showed up in my inbox today. At first I deleted it, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

It was entitled “10 Questions for Those in Your Church That Support Gay Marriage”. I won’t call out the source because, to be honest, they don’t deserve the attention. But since they are a popular resource among church leaders, I figured I should answer their questions because they’re going to make the rounds.

Right from the start the title already seems loaded.  “Those”… as if they’re lepers or something….

Let me sum up the questions for you:

“What makes you so smart you smarty smart smart? What makes you better than Jesus and the Constitution and me?”

It’s like grade school all over again. Really. But since this is probably going to make the rounds in the blogs and from the pulpits and over coffee while waiting for service starts, let’s break them down:

1. How long have you believed that gay marriage is something to be celebrated?
The implication here is “We taught you better than this! When did you go astray? And how DARE you celebrate! Put that cake down!”
Just like the title, all these questions are worded like an attack. Like in a bad police drama “How long have you known you were going to keep beating your wife?”
The best way to answer this one is to reword it. “If you mean ‘how long have I believed that all people deserve the same Constitutional rights’ the answer is: always. If you mean ‘how long have I believed that love in all its forms is none of my business’ the answer is: always.”

2. What Bible verses led you to change your mind?
In other words “THE WORD OF GOD COMPELS YOU! ANSWER! AND IF YOU GET IT WRONG I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY KING JAMES STUDY BIBLE! HARDCOVER!”
What many will be surprised to see is that there aren’t that many verses about same-sex relationships in the Bible. A couple of verses in Leviticus, but then all the other anti-gay verses everyone cites are just others interpreting things into the scripture that aren’t there.
The best way to answer this one is to point out the LACK of verses on same-sex marriage. “Jesus didn’t say anything about same-sex marriage, it’s not in the 10 commandments, and there is not an ‘official’ Biblical definition of marriage anywhere. If it’s important, then surely it would have been included in the teachings of Jesus and the 10 commandments?”

3. How would you make a positive case from Scripture that sexual activity between two persons of the same sex is a blessing to be celebrated?
Could this question BE any more loaded? “PROVE IT FROM SCRIPTURE!” You can’t. Don’t try. You also can’t make a positive case from scripture that any sexual activity is a blessing to be celebrated. The Bible is not a sex manual. It doesn’t describe positions or whether it’s OK to use handcuffs and hot wax. Where in the Bible is ANY sexual activity celebrated?
And what is with the word “Celebrated?” Why do you keep using that word? I do not think it means what you think it means.
The best way to answer this one is to flip it: “How could YOU make a positive case that sexual activity is ever a blessing to be celebrated in the Bible? If you can’t do it for heterosexuals, how could I do it for homosexuals? The Bible isn’t a sex manual. It’s impossible to make a positive case for something that isn’t there. ”

4. What verses would you use to show that a marriage between two persons of the same sex can adequately depict Christ and the church?
What? How…? What does this even mean? How is this even remotely related to anything? Yes, the Bible mentions the church as the “Bride of Christ”. But then the church is also run by men, so the men are the bride of Christ? How is this related to anything?
Answer: “So you’re saying that the purpose, the only purpose, of marriage it to adequately depict the relationship of Christ to the Church? How does that relate to Elder Joe over there who is on his third marriage? Or Esther over there who has never been married? I don’t see how this is relevant.”

5. Do you think Jesus would have been okay with homosexual behavior between consenting adults in a committed relationship?
This is a loaded question. Very loaded. And is only pulling back the hammer to let you have it with both barrels in the next question. There is no way to answer this one without getting blasted, but there is an answer in the next question.
But you have to answer to move the conversation along. “Jesus lived in an area controlled by the Romans. Many of the Roman soldiers kept servants, both male and female, for the purpose of sex. In fact, one of them came to him to have his servant healed. We don’t know if that servant was kept for sex or not, but Jesus never said anything to him, or to any other Romans about the practice. ”

6. If so, why did he reassert the Genesis definition of marriage as being one man and one woman?
BLAM! Gotcha! See? The last question was just to set you up for this one.
What the question refers to is the passage in Matthew 19:4-5 that quotes Genesis 2:24 “So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife. And the two people will become one body.”
But in both cases, context is key. When Jesus quotes the text He is answering a specific question about divorce. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” In other words, the question is specifically about heterosexual divorce and not about marriage. So Jesus answers this question of law with a quote from the law. And in the case of Adam and Eve, where is the wedding? Where is the ceremony? There was no one to marry them, so they were husband and wife by… default? The verse is part of the creation narrative. Is that to be kept as law? Then what other verses have we been ignoring from Genesis? What about “be fruitful and multiply”? How do we apply that to childless couples and Esther over there who never had kids?
The whole point of this question is to play the “gotcha” card. The answer is “Jesus was answering a specific question about divorce, not marriage in general. The context is pretty clear on that one.”

7. As you think about the long history of the church and the near-universal disapproval of same-sex sexual activity, what do you think you understand about the Bible that Augustine, Aquinas, Calvin, and Luther failed to grasp?
Wow. Really? So now we’re expanding out to the so-called “Church fathers”? 10 bucks says the person asking this question doesn’t really know what these fellows said about anything. And just because it’s been historically against same-sex couples, doesn’t mean the church has been on the right side of history. And there are some, Yale historian John Boswell, for example, that believed the early church practice known as “Adelphopoiesis” was actually a same-sex commitment ceremony. The practice was common in the Catholic church up to the 14th century.
But this is another attempt to say “What makes you so smart compared to these here other guys?” But, again, who says they were on the right side of history? This one is twisted to put you in a position of looking dumb. “Well, durp derrr …”
The answer: “It’s not what I understand about the Bible that they failed to get, it’s what I understand about history, about people, about violence and slavery and equality that their male dominated societies couldn’t look into the future to see. God can, and does, continue to do new things.”

8. What arguments would you use to explain to Christians in Africa, Asia, and South America that their understanding of homosexuality is biblically incorrect and your new understanding of homosexuality is not culturally conditioned?
What is with these questions? Dude, you think you could word them any more hostile-y?
“your new understanding of homosexuality… culturally conditioned…” In other words “obviously you’ve been corrupted and it doesn’t really matter how you answer this question.”
And the assumption is that their understanding of homosexuality IS Biblically correct…. But what this really says is “Everyone all over the world agrees with me, so you’re obviously wrong”.
And would I ever come into contact with any of these people that I would have to be in a position to explain myself to them? And these are HUGE areas that are covered in this question, Africa alone is a huge land mass and obviously covers a tremendous number of people – are you implying that every Christian there disagrees with me? What if THEIR understanding has been conditioned by the church and not by true Biblical study?
At times like this I break out a blog post I keep in my back pocket: “Clobbering Biblical Gay Bashing“. Verse by verse, step by step through the verses used to argue against homosexuality. And I’d add one more “I’m sure my brothers and sisters that work to protect animals in Africa have witnessed homosexuality among animals, what are they doing about that?”

9. Should your brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with homosexual practice be allowed to exercise their religious beliefs without fear of punishment, retribution, or coercion?
Trick question.  Another one that sets you up to get blasted with the next one. But the answer is “It is their First Amendment right. Who am I to argue against it? Unless they work for the government, in which case it’s their job to put the rights of others ahead of their own as long as they are on the clock, according to the Constitution…”

10. Will you speak up for your fellow Christians when their jobs, their accreditation, their reputation, and their freedoms are threatened because of this issue?
See? SEE? If it’s their right, how are YOU going to protect them? Huh? HUH? Why are the rights of gay people more important than you fellow Christians! Everything you’ve said in all the other questions comes down to this! What are YOU going to do???
Well, to put it plainly, the First amendment does allow for them to practice their religion and speech, but it does not guarantee they won’t lose their jobs, their accreditation, blah blah blah. The First Amendment does not promise that you just get to say whatever and not have any consequences. Especially in the workplace. Your employer has the right to terminate you. Your college has the right to take back your degree. These too are covered in the first amendment as they get to exercise the right, too. Or at the very least in your employment contract which is legally binding the moment you signed it.
But more than that, this question plays into FEAR. “People are going to SUFFER! And it’s YOUR FAULT! What are you going to DO????”
As in the last question, the only people whose jobs might, arguably, be at risk, are those that work for the government. County clerks, for example, are on the so-called front lines. But this is AMERICA, we have CHOICES. IF they don’t want to do what their job requires of them they can a) talk to their employer and ask if there is another department they can transfer to b) do the job as required until another job can be found  or c) just quit. You’re not forced to work that job. Just go get another one.
As for the rest, what the what?
I call this one the Fox News question. “Well, the gays are taking over, the world is ending and all good people are at risk”. I am not aware of anyone’s freedoms being threatened, are you? In fact the freedoms that were threatened have now been legalized. Why are the freedoms of Christians more important than everyone else’s?
Here’s the answer. “Jesus never promised that we wouldn’t lose jobs, reputation, and freedom. He never promised any of that. What He did promise was “In this world you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world” (paraphrasing). You question implies Constitutional rights, which are not a Biblical issue. I will stand up for those, but not at the expense of my own or the Constitutional rights of others. Everyone, whether I agree with them or not, has the same rights and if one group’s rights have to be suppressed to give rights to others, then no one should have them. Equality means equal, and if we’re all equally miserable, then so be it.”

There you have it. My interpretation on how to answer these questions when they come up. And they will.

Don’t give in to fear. Don’t give in to pressure. Don’t let your church leadership pressure you. Do the right thing. It all comes down to “Love your neighbor as yourself”.