So here we are, a week from Christmas 2016.
We made it. The year is almost over. Well, a lot of us made it, but it’s been hard, it’s been really really hard, on so many of us.
Yes, I’m talking about the election here in the US, but also the fact that so many of our cultural icons have left us, Prince, Bowie, Glenn, Cohen… it’s an unusually long list this year.
And many of us have had personal issues. Health, career, relationships, mental status….
Why has this year seemed so hard compared to what came before? Why was 2016 so much WORSE?
The honest truth? It wasn’t. Not really.
Oh, sure, we arguably lost more of our beloved icons, and the US election cycle, no matter how it turned out for you, was a real sh** show (and it ain’t over yet – there’s more sh** to come). And yes, some of us seem to have a lot more personal stuff going on…
But these are all things that have happened before. And will happen again.
And while it seems like a lot, for some of us it’s overwhelming, it’s nothing new.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not discounting the very real consequences of the US election, the very real threat of bigotry, misogyny, and general nastiness that many will face in the coming year and the years after. That’s going to be hard. And I am going to do everything I can to protect my friends, and family (including friends and family I don’t know yet) in the LGBTQA community, who are women, who are immigrants, who are children, who are minorities. I will use my voice, my money, and my time. There’s some very real nastiness coming and I will help.
But what we’ve faced so far 2016, it’s nothing new. The only real difference is, there’s been a lot of it.
The real difference is, there’s been a lot of it. A lot a lot.
A lot, all at once, and that has some very real consequences on us as individuals, as a nation, as a race of beings. ( And I’m not forgetting what other’s have faced outside the US – Brexit? That’s some serious crap right there. We’re all in this together!)
And now it’s Christmas. Not all of us ‘do’ Christmas, I know, but regardless, this time of year is supposed to be about love and peace and cease-fires and family. And we’ve arrived here exhausted. We’ve been through it all and unlike years past we’re just done. We just want rest and peace and for it to be over.
And I feel it too. Right now I’m sitting in my room, avoiding my children who had their last day of school for 2016 yesterday – and they’re totally wound up for the holidays -and I just want to sleep. Sleep until they go back to school on the 3rd of January. And that might seem terrible, and maybe it is but like many of you I just lack the strength to deal with them today.
There’s a word I’m dancing around here, a word that gets thrown around a lot, but I’ll just throw it out there….
We’re depressed.
As a people, as a faith, as a world, we’re depressed.
Now I’m not talking about the disease. I have depression, the disease. And if I don’t maintain it with meds things get bad. Like scars on my arms bad. And many of you do too, so I’m not belittling the disease, but English is a crappy language and we tend to reuse words. So until they invent a new one to differentiate between depression the disease and depression the emotion, I’m stuck with the words we have.
So we’re depressed, a big huge helping of the blues. We’re sad. We’re grieving. But we put up our tree and we turn on our lights and our giant inflatable Santas and we smile and say Merry Christmas and put on the illusion that we’re OK, that things are normal and we’re just going to move forward.
And so we are. Like it or not we’re going to come out the other side of the Holidays and the kids will be back in school and we’ll put the lights away and we’ll shovel our snow and a new US President will be put in office and time will go forward. As it always does.
But right now we’re here and we’re angry and we’re sad and we want to yell and scream and punch and kick and burn down that stupid tree and shoot the lights out on our neighbor’s roof.
And guess what?
That’s OK.
Really, honestly, it’s OK to be mad.
Now I’m going to get all ‘Churchy’ here for a sec, but this applies to other people too…
Many of us in the church have been taught that to be ‘saved’, to be a Christian, means that we’re supposed to have ‘joy’. We’re supposed to be happy because “Jesus Saved Us!” We have Heaven! So we can’t be sad or mad or anything but JOYFUL! The election? It doesn’t matter. Teenage pregnancy? That don’t matter. Because JESUS!
And that freaking bullsh**.
If your church teaches that stuff, leave it right now because it’s not a church, it’s a cult.
God gave us emotions and it’s OK to feel them. Angry? It’s OK. Sad? It’s OK. Stressed? Anxious? Tired? It’s OK! Those are natural responses to situations in our lives. When we’re allowed to feel those things, we’re also moved to fix the things that make us feel that way.
Churches should not be gathering places for happy people. They should be meeting places for warriors ready to fight the world. Angry young men and women (and old men and women) determined to care for the poor, fight for the subdued, and BATTLE those that are determined to push people down and instead lift them up. No matter their circumstances.
If your church isn’t like that, do what you can to MAKE it like that. Or leave and find one that IS like that or START one that is like that.
We need to stop pretending that things are going to turn out OK because God is in control, and instead MAKE things turn out OK because God is in control of US, of our hearts and our lives and if we love Him as He loves us, then we can’t sit idly by and wait, we need to act.
So this Holiday season, let’s rest. Let’s regroup. Let’s step back and take care of our families, our homes, our own little tribes. Make the yuletide gay. Let your hearts be light.
Then let’s get together. In the real world, in the online world, on our page, with others you know, any and every which way you can. And let’s plan. Let’s work. Let’s help. Help each other, help our neighbors, help our friends – then expand from there.
That is how we make next Christmas better than this one. Even if it mean standing against authority.
I’ve ranted enough. Merry Christmas to you.
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